forsaken

"Now the day has come
We are forsaken this time"
- Within Temptation -

i'm feeling a tad poignant, thus the "forsaken" title.

supposedly went clubbing at zouk with dom and friends. (hah! right.) he and his friends obviously went to mambo while del and i went to phuture. hahah. how come it often comes back to just both of us, girl??? all i can say is, thankfully i did meet up the person i was supposed to meet. plus he and his friends were kind enough to look after us as well.

bright colours yesterday at zouk (referring to myself here). wore pastel yellow top and scarf. with a light turquoise bottom. hey, i usually have black in my ensemble. hahah. should've been a kodak moment for me eh? but nah, no pics. aight. main purpose of this blog aint about clubbing at zouk before it closes for renovations next week. it's about the person i met there.

first got to know him through myspace some months back. it's all blurry to me as to how i actually have him on my list in myspace and subsequently on my msn list. (apparently, he noticed the pic where my hand was covering my face in that gpa "photo shoot"). anyway, he was supposed to look for me in phuture without me telling him where i was. i recognised him from pictures on his profile when we bumped into each other on my way out of phuture. (kinda busted the element of surprise) PLUS he was right in my face and staring at me. talk about unnerving. meeting for the first time at the club definitely did not present the opportunity for me to suss him out. at least, he and his friends looked out for del and i. so that was a somewhat positive quality.

did spend some time with him afterwards. i really didnt expect to be taken in by the person. get this, on the back of my mind i was actually thinking, "wot?!?! i'm actually meeting a guy whom i met online...kentalnya!!!" i wont go into overdrive with the "oh-gosh-he-is-so-handsome-i-cant-breathe" shite. precisely because it wasnt like that at all. from the short time we spent time together i felt he was able to address or fill that nagging gap. I..I was surprised that he made me consider possibilities that i absolutely didnt with previous guys. mainly because those guys didnt convince me those possibilities were plausible. it made me wish i could spend more time with him. but it also almost made me wish the encounter didnt happen either.

hell. it was ONE meeting. but the chemistry was almost palpable. and that IS my fear. i dont wish to pursue something which will end up to naught. this time round, it's not the inability to communicate or comprehend each other which is the problem. to me, religion is very much the dampener to this whole thang. hell. the age and education thang weren't even top on my list of cautionary details to consider. and freak, it's like deja vu all over again. religion. (fear of) loving the person that it hurts so much. oh gosh. i AM amused now. maybe it IS a sign. i doubt i can even go on the "lets try to just be friends" jazz. i think i can actually like him too much to even go down that route for now.

on hindsight (and on the bright side), i'm glad we did meet and spent those few hours together. very possibly it is not meant to be. but i'm grateful to him nonetheless. and i do hope that he will meet the right one for him in future.