one moment more

i watched Jaimie Goodwin's solo to this song. it may not have touched many people. but i was moved by her piece. especially after knowing her back story. reading opinions and observations about her also made the experience even more surreal. the sense of loss and longing is quite acute. so poignant. *sigh* i'm a sucker for such things. yes, yes. i admit to it once again.

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One Moment More

Hold me
Even though I know you're leaving
And show me all the reasons you would stay
It's just enough to feel your breath on mine
To warm my soul and ease my mind
You've got to hold me and show me now

Give me just one part of you to cling to
And keep me everywhere you are
It's just enough to steal my heart and run
And fade out with the falling sun

Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and keep me

Tell me that someday you'll be returning
And maybe
Maybe I'll believe

It's just enough to see a shooting star
To know you're never really far
It's just enough to see a shooting star
To know you're never really gone

Oh, please don't go
Let me have you just one moment more
Oh, all I need
All I want is just one moment more
You've got to hold me and maybe I'll believe
So hold me
Even though I know you're leaving


-Mindy Smith-

randy blythe, the blunt as hell frontman

some interviewer: what's your favourite curse word?

randy blythe: fuuuuuuck!! fuck!!


gotta love him.

a dumbass for the second time.

although not completely debilitated by recent events, i was nonetheless quite perturbed.

*sigh* unsettling. i dont know what other synonyms there are out there to fully describe what i am feeling. unease? uncomfortable? vulnerable? i dont know...

it started out as some defiant act of petulance. well, i guess toying with the idea actually constitutes an actual action. (it's damn cliche but) it WAS such a damn damn rollercoaster ride at the beginning. i felt so insecure that i harboured thoughts of jumping ship. of 'greener pastures'. of who-the-hell-gives-a-damn-i-can-do-whatever-i-want-since-he-did-it-first. or at least that was the mantra replaying in my head.

i can understand the need for attention. for some sort of validation. even if minute. when you have just lost all vestige of self-esteem, anything looks good.

so i thought i wanted it. maybe i encouraged such an idea. maybe i thought it validated my existence. as a person. as a female.

but time passed. and things looked up. naturally, there are the small tiffs and squabbles and disagreements. but generally, things were good. there was great banter. loads of laughter. freaking fun moments. it was such a hoot. in short, it was happening.

there wasn't any need to try to be a certain way to impress. it was natural. it was unassuming. it was cool. it was relaxed. it was just chill. it was damn comfortable.

so i lost interest in that defiant act of petulance. no longer did it hold any appeal. it was no longer even a question of right or wrong because of the current situation. it was just blah. i couldnt care less. like it was too freaking strange-funny to contemplate. and that was what i felt. i dont see it as setting of boundaries. just the unnaturalness of it all turns me off. too odd to be taken seriously.

i guess i was naive. maybe having had too much fun and laughter made me think it would always be like that. but it wasnt. it was quite offputting. too odd. too yeeech. i admit to being emo. but hell. i think what i truly need is someone who listens. not gooey touchy feely shit. dammit. i dont really know. all i know is that is was unnerving and damn uncomfortable.

i wasnt offended. just a tad disgusted. if i gave the wrong impression before. well that was my fault. too bad the signals were all wrong. i was dumb and naive. shucks. i act the way i do to express my inner feelings not some obscure wants. ah dammit. i'm typing in circles.

maybe it was too abrupt of me. but i just had to leave. to go away. to be free. to be alone. my emotional state of mind can be so damn fragile at times.

such.a.dumbass. and for the.second.time.

bloody hell. i doubt i'll be third time 'lucky'.

dont be a dumbass, bitch.

fuck.

the black princes???

i am emo. but please don't associate me with the current 'emo' scene.

went for the my chemical romance gig last tuesday on the 11th. looking at how popular they are among certain youngsters nowadays, i expected a humongous crowd. and well, the queue was damn long la by the time i reached expo. which was about 7.30ish?

but wait a minute. long queue? apparently, throngs of people were clueless about what they were supposed to do. including yours truly. there were no signs to guide us or what not. we didn't even know where to head to exactly. i mean, max pavilion yeah. but where the bloody hell is the exact entrance?

in the end. we kinda. uh. gate crashed. headed to the very front. saw there were like some small pathetic signs indicating the tix prices above the entrance doors. i mean helllooooo. small. puny. who the hell can see those signs from far???

anyhows. we just waited near the front. for like half an hour. when finally they just opened the remaining doors to allow more people through.

reached the free standing area to wait some more. the tix indicated 8pm but it actually started at about 9pm.

ok ok. enough ramblings. i dunno how to describe it really. it was quite a rocking good time. otherwise, it felt like a bit of a disappointment. compared to the muse gig, it was a tad lacklustre. no mosh pits. the crowd abit blah. and the scores of fans giving the \m/ signs were a bit off putting. but oh well. who am i to debate the origins of the sign and decide who can actually brandish it proudly.

these are some pics i managed to take. the rest just sucked cos the batt for my cam is just too damn weak. (it's a rechargeable one) the zoom wasnt all that spectacular. and i was short. hahah.




[ST reported attendance was about 7000. similar figures for the muse gig back in january. and i seriously thought mcr would attract waaaay more peeps. and did anyone notice the amount of space allocated to their review in Life!?? a teeeny column. no pictures either. pfffft. even the review for megadeth had included a pretty large picture! *shrug* maybe they just dont wanna promote the 'emo' scene lest more teenagers go and cut themselves up.]

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if mcr only attracted 7000 peeps, there's no chance of bringing Lamb of God!! not as if there was a great chance to begin with. but still. commercial rock band against not very commercial metal band. what are the odds?? *waaaaaillll*

BUT. incubus next march!! woohoo!! brandon boyd!!! ;)