the "Malay temperament"

The following is based on an fb message sent to a tango friend trying to explain the "dichotomy" of my emotions following one night of tango practica.

Some years back (maybe it was 2009?), I recall a bit of a hoo-ha in the Malay papers over how Malay Muslims in Singapore celebrated Idul Fitri. In a commentary in Berita Harian (or Minggu?), someone was 'puzzled' that Malay Muslims do not celebrate Idul Fitri with joy like the Arabs or other non-Malay Muslims. He felt that other Muslims find the coming of Syawal as a victory after 29/30 days of personal jihad (through fasting and abstaining of the permissible in remembrance of God and be thankful for the life He has given us, etc).

This apparently created a bit of furore amongst some readers who gave their two cents worth through the forum letters. Even Art Fazil contributed an article to Berita Harian/Minggu explaining why Malays feel such profound sadness instead of victorious joy when they hear the Takbir.

In essence, I agree with Art's explanation of the "Malay temperament" (while at the same time also agreeing with some points the original author made). According to Art, (for lack of a better word), we're sensitive souls. That's not to say other races aren't sensitive souls. It's just that I feel it *may* have something to do with Islam and the Malay culture.

I personally feel (in general) Malays have this notion of give and take (probably attributed a lot to Islam). We believe in giving more than taking because we sincerely believe God likes such acts of kindness and it is some form of repayment for the life He has given us. It is this understanding of the existence of something much greater that I feel affects us quite a bit.

In terms of culture, I believe or at least have been taught that Malays are generally defined by our genteel behaviour (without the upper-class association). In our literature, dance, dramas, day-to-day actions, we are never direct. We would always layer our thoughts/intentions to avoid appearing impolite. Maybe this is also how we come to be more sensitive, to be more in tune to what needs to be interpreted.

I guess when culture mixes with religion, you get Malays feeling profound sadness when they hear the Takbir.

How does this relate to tango? From my (short) experience dancing tango for a year or so, it is easier to form a genuine connection in close embrace (CE). The notion of give and take if you will. (Disclaimer: So far at my very beginner level, I have yet to experience that kind of connection with leaders who prefer open embrace (OE)/salon).

While I do enjoy dancing with leaders who prefer OE/salon, I get the feeling that they just wanna show me off executing the moves they can lead. Me being me (believing I should give more than take), give these leaders what they want to the point I feel like a specimen at times. (I'm giving here, where's your give?) I must give them credit though for making me a better dancer (force me to be on my own axis, being patient, be more sensitive to what they want, etc).

On the other hand, just being in CE does not guarantee a genuine connection. As quoted from very tango : "Just because a couple choose to dance in close embrace does not automatically equate to a connection. This is merely form. It is what you give to one another and to the dance, genuinely. This is essence."

I strongly believe in this. This is why in CE, I try to transcend the form and open myself up to the leader. (At the moment, I find it easier to do this in CE rather than OE). At that moment, I am vulnerable. Despite dancing in CE with a few leaders, there have been only a handful experiences where I managed to open myself up to be in that moment with the leader.

That particular practica was one example where I tried to open myself up and be in the moment with a leader (making myself vulnerable in the process) but I never quite got what he wanted to lead me to do.

Yes, I admit overall, it was a good night with a positive vibe where everyone was helping one another. However, because of my few vulnerable moments with that leader, I questioned my abilities because I couldn't feel what he was leading.

It was almost akin to opening yourself up to love someone and trying to give your all but regardless of what you do, it was never enough.

Dramatic I know. Maybe in part because of this "Malay temperament", deep inside I felt like crying despite the good night of dancing. I should say this is also because I'm a huge crybaby. I cry easily over any sob story. I get affected easily in my moments of deep reflection. (Truth: I cried in office once when listening to Maher Zain's 'Thank You Allah'. At that moment, I was truly thankful to Him for the good things in my life regardless how "un-Islamic" they may be.)

So there you go. Maybe it's hard work. Maybe it's my dancing experience (been about 17 years if you include being involved in Malay dance as an ECA back in primary school). Maybe it's the "Malay temperament". Regardless, picking up tango has done wonders for me in Malay dance. Similarly, my understanding of Malay dance has I believe helped me with my tango.

It's been a great few months of dancing. Hopefully, it'll get even better. And hopefully, I can go even further and transcend whatever I feel with dance and be one with God.

note: I just realised I have no posts from 2010 after failing to follow up on one post after attending a Malay arts camp of sorts in early November.