baron's brought you slipknot

i managed to get an ok pic of jim!!!

woohoo! i wasn't excited but hell, i was freaking entertained! this is like late la. but u can't blame a girl who's busy with dance and stuffs. heh. the sound was good. they played well. i guess it was all short cos they couldn't do alot of their crazy shit. they couldn't really extend the whole gig with their antics. so they took it in their stride and just performed their songs. woohoo!! if slipknot could come, could lamb of god come too? hahah. that's asking for too much i think. doubt their fan base is as wide as slipknot's.

hope to like continue. but this is all in the meantime about the gig.

nine masked men.

august sixteenth two-oh-oh-five. gosh. will they really be coming? haha. granted i am NOT as excited as i would be, uh lets say, a year ago. i really doubt i'll be disappointed if they didn't come. hahahaha! i won't start with all the derogatory terms to describe slipknot but i guess since i've started listening to others bands, my enthusiasm for them is rather diluted. well. lamb of god was opening for them on some other tour in some other part of the planet. and THAT is one band i know i definitely wanna catch at this period of time. i wanna see randy blythe perform onstage live!!! hurhur.

i know i should be more excited but i'm quite jaded at the moment. *shrug* not exactly looking forward to it but i hope it WILL be an experience. i wonder if i can sneak in my digicam. prolly wont be able to get good shots from where i'll be. but hell. i could try. haha. i think i should start listening again to my slipknot cds. thinking back, the second album was great to have your head thrashing around murderous thoughts. i really wonder why i didn't like it the first time round. i think i was going too soft around that time in my life. haha! i think i was trying to cut down on listening to all the heavy kinda music. well. a leopard never changes its spots, i guess. here, i guess i hafta agree somewhat to what dom posted on his blog on august 11th.

i may not dig slipknot as much now. but i hafta attribute them to helping me somehow re-live and re-enjoy past pleasures. it's funny how i often look back on my life and realise the little things i did to come to this stage. i remember how i gradually stopped going for local gigs, finding out new bands to listen to, buying cds or flipping through music magazines. it is quite amusing really. i was sooo incredibly caught up being 'happy with' someone that i think i kinda lost my sense of self.

i can laugh it off (sorta) because it IS fun right here, right now. i wouldn't have joined PS/Cairnhill if i didn't see it as something to occupy my hopelessly cluttered mind. i wouldn't have gotten to know the people, the activities that i'm doing now. one thing after another. it has been fun and quite uplifting. i wouldn't have known the joys of clubbing. woo hoo! (oklah. this is attributed more to the arts fest peeps.) i wouldn't have gone on to that first gig and got to know the metal guys. (although i don't exactly regard them as my friends. they ARE useful acquaintances when i need metal influence over tarian and hip hop/r&b flavoured clubbing moments.) hurhur. i like the tarian + hip hop/r&b clubbing + metal as fave music genre combination. i like the fact that i have all these influences so that i can take a lil bit from each and have fresh perspectives on thangs.

not to say that life is very good, just that it IS considerably better than before. wheeee. i think i'm still from a shopping spree high. (i went to geylang - not like red light district tau - with mommy and bought tudungs, cloth to make into skirts, dresses and what not) yeah yeah! me happy.

this post has seriously digressed from slipknot. haha! but hey. still tryin to figure out my outfit if they DO come. hurhur. it's like 5pm and i need to rush. dance prac later. slipknot. are you coming?

prisoner of my own thoughts

it has been a miasma of thoughts and emotions. i can't possibly remember every detail and nuance of emotions felt and it'd probably a too long post if i did. so once again, i'm stuck and unsure of where to begin.

it hasn't exactly been a rollercoaster ride. there weren't any too high 'highs' or too low 'lows'. but it has been a mess of contradictory thoughts and conclusions. why can't i put it all simply? *shrug* i have no idea, really. i think it kinda stems from the fact that i cannot be elicit about certain things. i just can't.

i got a bit confused and indignant this past week. i'm kinda starting to doubt myself and starting to feel like an ol' fraud. i've been called selfish and petty these past two weeks. my fears and concerns were belittled. i felt that strange, claustrophobic kinda anxiety just two nights ago. it reminded me of how scared i was during that abysmal, bleak period in my life. i was so so freaked out to the point i got too scared to sleep. it was unnerving.

i tried to discuss it with someone about it but i ended up being called petty for relating such a problem to him. yea i admit i didn't elucidate my fears so i can't really blame the guy for thinking so. but that didn't stop me from feeling kinda indignant and questioning myself and my life. am i really such a selfish petty dumbass? i can't say it turned out to be a bad day for me. i hafta admit, i did realise some stuffs from his reaction. and like what i said to him, every response is an insight to the human psyche. (personally, i'm not sure if he even understood that statement. but then, i probably cannot understand how he could come up with such a wayward response to what i told him. so i guess it's fair)

i thought that guy was different from the rest of The End of Recording studio guys. chiefly because he's older than all of them. and i guess he is more mature in some aspects than the others. however, lately, i realised his mentality is still pretty much like the other guys i've met. i guess education and family background does play a part no matter how old the person is. he came to the wrong conclusion when i reacted to certain things he said and when i told him about certain gripes. and his reaction to my asking for his help was like deja vu. didn't i just experience that with another guy?

it's quite unfortunate. i guess i'm looking for friendship at the wrong places. i guess these guys cannot grasp the idea of a 'platonic relationship between the sexes'. to quote a friend, such guys need to have 'higher order thinking'. i concur. but i guess there are still lots to tweak on my side. i am learning. i am trying to enjoy my life now and make more friends or acquaintances. it is possible that i am trying to enjoy life as how i should have a few years ago. haha. i am amused by all these incidents in my life. i am thankful. and i really hope there is someone out there who can at least share my sentiments.

freaking headaches + late nights

i know. i know. (seriously, i should stop acknowledging the fact that i dont update my blog often)

anyway. i've been encumbered by these freaking headaches since two or so weeks ago. it has been a literal head throbbing experience. it does not forgive and seeks to make a comeback almost everyday. to the point of knocking on my head twice or thrice in a day.

urgh i hate this.

what can i say? i did go through the drudgery of life as usual. thangs did happen. went for hajar's chalet. slept over yanni's place. watched dvds. went for b-quartet's soft launch of their EP. (love the drumming and singing! hurhur) slept alot. had some mini tarian show. had tarian practices as usual. *yawn* nothing spectacular. however, i finally found out who fazrun is (ok. i so do not know how to spell his name) and what the big hoo-ha is over him becoming the new NUS MS president. hahah. well. he is a very nice guy from the few hours i got to know him.

and well. i guess my head is a miasma of thoughts. dont exactly know where to begin...

oh yes. i bought for myself new specs. YES i succumbed to insert one deadly sin here _______ and got ray ban specs. urgh. what was i thinking?! heh. but yeay. at least my cousins thought this pair is nicer than the previous one. hurhur.

watched 'A Walk To Remember' when i slept over yanni's place last sunday. gosh. i cried! i dunno. i guess i'm too emo. but then, i guess it reminded me of my ability to actually love someone. but not wishing to do so for just any person. it was incredibly sweet and terribly cliche. but dammit, i think this is what alot of girls would want or expect from their special someone. hell. i'm dark and brooding but i STILL think it is my right to be properly taken care of and loved. by someone RESPONSIBLE. to the guys out there who claim to love me. please get a reality check. love is NOT everything if you cannot be responsible enough for your own life.

ended my stint at the National Arts Council. it was a good time in my life. the people were great. but now, onto finding a new job. and i just wanna catch up on lost sleep. it feels so good to sleep in!!! and still keep the late late nights.

new albums out that i wanna get but still haven't gotten. aight. one day. i shall go shopping for cds. and go clubbing with a vengeance! haha!