the talented mr ripley

first thing. too busy la.

second thing. yanni said that this is a 'thinking blog'. so there. HAH!

i skip books often. i'll read one halfway through and switch to another. (depending on how heavy my bag is that day) i still havent finished 'The Unholy Ghost' and started on 'The Talented Mr Ripley'. [ricky darling. I'll return the book to you before you leave aight.] and i actually started on kay jamison's 'Exuberance' before reading 'The Unholy Ghost'. TSK. aaaaaaand guess what? i'm reading 'The Half-Blood Prince' now. yeah yeah. short attention span.

but that's not the point.

i was reading 'The Talented Mr Ripley' and halfway through, things get bad for tom ripley. in short, i was quite gut wrenched and felt myself refusing to continue. i've seen the movie so i have a rough idea of what is to come and i guess i just couldnt bring my mind to go there. it was all fine and dandy and it's as if my mind cannot take the shit and contort that seemingly nice beginning. i know i gotta finish the book but i just dread the ending you know. to go through the rest of the book is almost akin to reliving some very bad memories. why feel so much for a book some may ask. i dunno but i guess i revel in the fact that i have the ability to be moved. what's the point of reading, watching a play, dance performance or what not if you cannot be buoyed into the sweeping emotions? i get quite an unpleasant sensation as the book progresses to the point i HAVE to stop reading every few pages to get a grip on myself. yea that tom ripley is a hell of a manipulator. damn calculative and totally emotionless when it comes to others. it gives me the chills really. it's quite disturbing. period.

i know i got my mood swings and negative thoughts and all that shit. but could i lie outright? just for my own gain no matter what happens to the other party? could i possibly think it's my sole right to get whatever i want, whenever i want it? i may not believe i'm that nice a person but i firmly believe i will not be able to stomach being such a manipulator. hey farida taught me that white lies help oil society. but blatant ones? c'mon. how the hell can you live with yourself? i once knew of someone whom i came to realise is a big fat (hell yeah, she's big and fat) liar and fucking manipulator. this year i found out certain things she told me before were actually blatant lies in her attempt to garner sympathy and all that. she was so successful that i became deeply suspicious of someone who turns out to be one of my closer friends now. then, she made me believe that girl was just out to use her. when in fact, she was the big fat liar using ME. of course there are many other thangs she did - some i cannot recall or some i just cannot be bothered to rake up anymore.

call me naive but it's hard for me to swallow that i can get to know such a person personally in my lifetime. hey, you cannot deny such people exist. but to get close to such a person. *shudder* once is enough, thank you very much. but hey, i could be wrong. she could be a really nice person. (i seriously doubt this but i feel compelled to represent her in a slightly better light) what i can say is, good luck to all of you who have made friends with her. just hope you won't be her next victim. but if you'd rather get her 'love' and 'attention', feel free to stay on and keep being manipulated. i wish you the best of luck.

last week's weak outing turn outs aside, del lets go clubbing with eileen. i wanna see that woman dance! hurhur. hey. she's hot. i'm sure you would agree. :)