all prayers count.

apropos the previous post, this is just an extension of my warped imagination.

it seems poignant what i suddenly observed. in death, all prayers count. whether from family, friends, acquaintances, fellow followers of your religion. sometimes, we're too caught up with our emotions that we forget that we cannot dictate what others feel towards us. that person whom you conveniently forgot about may still hold you dear in their hearts. you definitely will not know who remembers you in their prayers.

and that is the scary part. it is everyone's onus to forgive whoever it is that wronged them. and i readily admit that is something i really have to work on. it is scary to realise that seemingly person A (who passed away) did not seem to think much about person B. however person B was really affected by person A's passing because he was someone dear to her. in the end, person B's prayers could be the one helping him out in the afterlife.

but THAT could just be the difference between males and females.

everything here is so fleeting. these are all transient happenings. (ok. this concerns my beliefs of which i know many out there do not share) i will not say i'm badly affected. but i was shocked and i need these thangs to jolt me. i may be gone soon and i still have not done half of what i should be doing. i want to be moved into action. but i feel so passive. my faith has lost its lustre of late. i wish to regain what i felt before and hope to sustain it. i'm reminded of the persons who compelled me to do something. now i am finally free of those trappings of yesteryears and i'm starting to scrutinise myself for my own actions unburdened by the thoughts of others.

am i really at a better place in my life right now? on the offset, i probably am. but i'm just not sure. i do wanna look out for my own happiness. i just hope not at the expense of what truly matters in life on earth.

dear friends, please keep me grounded and smack me in the head once in a while. i probably need a fresh dose of reality every now and then.