me for me.

was just chatting with someone from dance.

i lamented that i feel too 'different' for the choreographers in the group i'm in. and she commented that i always think that way and should get past that.

i'm trying to get past such thinking. but i'm always caught in this trap. of feeling like the outsider. like i belong somewhere else. always. always. i can't seem to shed this mentality. and i can just cry thinking about it.

sigh. i guess that's where i desperately cling on to the notion that i would have someone who'd be my rock. to be there for me. instead of me for me all the time.

*shrug* the more i think, the more it consumes me.