see who i am

enough shit about him.

what can i say? what can i convey to make this anymore worthwhile?

i've been thinking of death a whole lot lately. it scares me. (but apparently, not scared enough yet to repent and pay penance for all my sins.) i wonder how it'd be like. how the realm of the dead is like. no, i'm not itching to find out. i'm scared that i'll never be good enough as how i hope to be. let's face it. we can never be good enough for that level has been attained by one person.

there are so many things to learn. so much unknown. i have yet to scratch the surface of the abundance of knowledge i am supposed to uncover. and here i am, feeling self pity and getting messed up over petty, "worldly" thangs. what on earth is wrong with me? it's not about striving for happiness. it's about trying to attain that understanding of my role here on earth. to be content and truly satisfied after understanding my purpose.

i wish to be at peace. with my place here on earth. to be at peace with everyone.

i wish for that more than anything.