dom did it!

hahah. i just had to have such a header. as a shout out to dom, he has a knack for 'inspiring' me to blog.

simple pleasures?

i am wary of having to be wary all the time. i just wanna be free and believe. it is freaking tiring to be on my toes and avoid those fragile egg shells. hell yeah, it IS a defence mechanism and i admit i will be far more wasted than how i am right now if i didnt utilise it. BUT... *sigh* but nothing..

the thought is worse than the reality.

i worry too much. i think too much. i'm just plain scared. it definitely stems from the fact that i know i dont conform to society's expectations. and it's so much easier (for me, at least) to believe the more negative aspects. (freak. i shouldnt be complaining too much after i included that bit part in.)

his existence as a lesson in my life.

it's almost like a mantra to me. that's what preventing me from just taking that leap to away/ over and done with/ no more pain and wretched thoughts. it's akin to goin' through shit before you get to greener pastures. i wanna go through this and get something invaluable from it. whatever it is, i do pray to not get what i want but what God knows is best for me.

apropos to Aidilfitri, i wanna apologise to everyone who i've encountered in my life and everyone who's encountered my blog (which aint many but isnt the real issue here) . i have committed many sins and this past Ramadhan has been less eventful than i had hoped it to be. i pray to live to experience the next one.

thanks for reading.